Recession cured! Through the magic of PowerPoint!

Warriors, it’s becoming clear that the way to cure this recession is more meetings, lots more meetings.

It must be, because that seems to be my company’s way of dealing with it, scheduling more meetings, with more worldwide travel, more conference calls, with more PowerPoint creation, more rehearsals, more late night meetings to prepare for the meetings, more rounds of feedback on presentations, which results in more working on presentations.

We’ve decided that instead of speaking to customers, and figuring out better products and better ways to talk to customers, we are going to talk to ourselves, often, and through an animated slideshow program with pictures clipped from Flickr and funny moves from YouTube. What are we telling ourselves? Basically, when you boil it down, we’re telling each other everything is going to be okay. We have products. We are going to market them. We will remain employed. Probably.

All these meetings? It’s the same thing as getting a hug from your mother after you scrapped your knee. And as about as helpful.

Well, not really. It’s less helpful. It is more like your mom is so intent on your listening to her that she won’t let you up so you can spray antiseptic on your bleeding wound and bandage it. Instead, she’s going to hold you down and scream meaningless into your face until your knee gets gangrene and has to be amputated.

(Helpful PowerPoint tip: If you need pictures of people who look kind of like your target market, just search on Flickr!)